STOP IT!



Pic taken from here

*sigh*

I hate abusive men, and I mean it. In this past few months female friends came to me, telling me their darkest side: being abused by their own husbands and dads. I couldnt say anything but realy wanted to hug them and to share little strength I have with them.

I felt so hopeless hearing them telling me the way they keep themselves sane: to numb their heart and feeling, to asure themselves that they deserve those abusive acts, to excuse their partner by telling me they deserve it for upseting their partner, to keep thinking about her children: by doing so somehow give them strength to hold on, or to persist that this is life they should live.

Women, beloved women. Sigh. Sigh. BIG Sigh. Dear women, do not let anybody abuse you: not physical abuse, not emotional abuse, not sexual abuse. Tell your man to stop. STOP. STOP!!!! Tell your self that you are precious. You are beautiful human. You are lovely person. Most of all, tell him that he does not have any right to abuse you – you do not deserve his abusive manner. Not even one abusive word!

Do you know, that even ‘only’ the use of language, both oral and written, can be an abusive act? Such saying like “Me? Jealous? Hahaha You are not pretty! Should I get jealous? Are there men who would be interested to you?” is nothing but to abuse! That sentences abuse your self-worth, your dignity. They belittle you. They hold power over you. Such words damage your self-esteem, that you lack the confidence to maintain independence from your abuser.

When your man hurt you physically for the first time, it is enough to be considered a crime. Also, believe me – it will not the first and the last. He will do it again, to abuse you although it will not necesssarily physical. Then you have to start to think what you should do. You would seriously be wary of him from now on. Tell him that you found the slap inappropriate and abusive and you will not tolerate that behavior in the future. If he’s going to be an abusive spouse, you’ll know it from that statement alone. IF HE’S ABUSIVE, GET OUT! Don’t think that he’ll ever change or make excuses like “he treats me like a queen the rest of the time”, or “He only does it when he’s stressed”. This is not acceptable behavior, for you or your kids (current or future). Even I think, that is enough to call the cops. Realy. You can talk later to him, and perhaps can suggest him to go for therapy.

Well, you can do the same to men with verbal abusive manner. It tends to get worse, because abusive behaviour tends to escalate. Today he might say your are uggly. When you take his words, he might say another time that you are slut. One day, some day, he might feel he has right to punch your uggly face.

Dear women, stand your ground. Do not give any more excuse for anything hurt you: emotionally, physically, or sexually. Dear women, you are soo precious and so are your children. Never think that you deserve abusive manner because he is your husband or your dad, someone you believe is the head of the family. Never think that they have any right to treat you bad because as men, as husbands or as dads – they are the ruler of the family. Never, never, never ever you let them violate you!

And dear abusive men, abuse your self!

Ps. I would say the same for those who have abusive boyfriends.

I am a woman
no matter what you say
I am beautiful
no matter what you say
I like myself
no matter what you say
I am smart
no matter what you say
I believe in myself
no matter what you say

These are nice websites to read: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

2 thoughts on “STOP IT!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s