My deepest apologies for you for betraying you and didn’t keep my promise to you.
I’ve been through my ups and downs. I was loosing my faith (J.R.R Tokien says: faithless is (s)he that says farewell when the road darkens – I am not faithless person). I am trying to have it back (and I know I will).
*taking a deep breath*
I am sorry for now I am lost. I am trying hard to find my way and to get back into my “normal life”. I am sorry I only can share that these things keep roaming in my mind, and I don’t know exactly why do they ramify in my mind and I cannot make sense them.
It is funny that I keep wishing something to be happened. In my childlikeness trait, I used to refer this song: “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires, will come to you. If your heart is in your dreams, no request is to extreme. When you wish upon a star as dreamers do. Fate is kind, she brings to those who love. As sweet fullfillment of their secret drowns. Like a boat out of the blue, fate steps in and see’s you through. When you wished upon a star your dreams come true“.
Have you ever heard that song?
Have you ever used that song to keep you having your dream?
(and wish it will come true anyway?).
Then, last night I re-watched my favorite The Lord of The Ring, this dialog strucked my consciousness:
Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times; but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.
I also believe that “hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all” (Emily Dickinson).
So here I am, picking up my faith back, hoping that fate will be kind to me, and repeteadly I am wishpering “If it’s ment to be…. it will be” – because fate is kind, especially to those who love 🙂