One friend of mind asked why I am doing this research about (Indonesian) women’s blogs. So, this is my reason, I chopped this part out from my PhD proposal because somebody told me not to write too long for PhD proposal (which later I found that would be ok to have 50 pages PhD proposal. Mine is 25 pages, including the bibliography).
It was only one day after I delivered my daughter that the hospital informed me my baby had jaundice. The doctor ordered me to give a lot of (formula) milk to her while I had a lot of pressure from my family who insisted breastfeeding is best. I was to breastfeed my daughter but I was not producing enough milk. Breastfeeding become a breaking point for my suffering from postpartum syndrome. I was left struggling to cope alone with the burden. I was starting to think it was a failure as a mother.
While I was trapped at home looking after my baby, online access was the only way to escape to outside world. I jumped on the Internet to browse how to improve my breastfeeding. I found sites for breastfeeding moms. Suddenly, I knew I was not alone. There I met women all over the world to share anonymously their experience with their problems with the breastfeeding, ranging from improving breastfeeding to alternating to something else or just excepting in positive way. Now I am surely sure, bottlefeeding is not a bad idea as long as mothers feel comfortable. Only “healthy” moms can nurture healthy babies.
Sharing the knowledge on the online world has empowered me to exercise control of my own body and also how to achieve the autonomy for my own life and body. I learned to empower myself trough the online world by making friends with originally anonymous women and by sharing our stories about our “dailyness”.
I was struggling trying lots of traditional “recipes” to improve my breastfeeding. My online-chinese friend suggested me to eat radish. My online-indian friend told me about cummin seeds. My online-british friend believed yogurt was the best.
I am not against breastfeeding only because I mixed my method: breastfeeding and formula-spoon-feeding. I am not against breastfeeding only because I believe breastfeeding or not is a matter of mom’s choice.
I am not against bottle or spoon feeding only because I still believe first-three-months-breastfeeding is good. When it is possible to do, it is something good to do. I am not against bottle or spoon feeding only because I’d breastfed Gita for almost 5 years (freak!).