Long time ago – as i remember, my dearly mom forbidden me to open my veil as a daughter of a Chinese father.
Sssshhhhh? A daughter of a Chinese father? Does it mean that my father is a Chinese? YES! He is!
People is hardly take a guess at what he is (Chinese or LOCAL descent) as he had been working in Indonesian army. That place … you know…. is very INCLUSIVE, especially forrrrrrrrr (ha ha ha isi sendiri deh titik-titiknyaaaaaaa. Takut salah ngomong!).
My mom was afraid that somehow people would use that fact to hit me back (or my Pa). She just didn’t want me to get problems because of that.
My mom “rule” had been stored very well in my mind. I was afraid to serve other with that fact. I pretended as if I am truly Indonesian outside inside.
I remembered, several years ago – i was with my “local” friends in Puncak. It was hard raining at that time. We waited for bus to go to Jakarta, when we saw a stalled car with a CHINESE woman and kids inside. I asked my “local” male friends to help that woman. My “local” male friends refused to do that (there were THREE big male friends of mine at that time!).
What was their reason??? “habis cina sih, males gueeeeeeeee”
I was soooo speechless and afraid. My heart became smaller than a mungbean at that time. I wished they would never know about my social background. I was soooooooo afraid to lose them as my friend, if I revealed my identity as a chinese descent.
Time passed by…
I couldn’t not remember when i got my bravery. I just cannot remember that. But I have no more doubt to say: I am a chinese descent. My father is a chinese man.
It might be the courage from my education experiences or might come from friendship that has offered by amazing peoples that i’ve met (and become my best friend). I just cannot remember.
Long story short, I am now not afraid anymore of telling people who I am. I don’t care about what will they do or think towards me. I know I am a good (best)friend, a good teacher, a good mom, a good citizen, a good employee, a good daughter, and a good PERSON.
I don’t care about whatever freedom that my government grants Indonesian society. NOPE! I don’t care about it. The freedom to celebrate chinese lunar day doesnt mean they are granted the freedom to do other things (for Indonesia chinese people): they still have to pay more for certain things, they still have to swapt their name to Indonesian, they can still hardly become PNS or even join national unversities. *ohhhh sorry for being very synical*
What I care about is about RESPECT – respect to other people because equally we are all HUMAN BEING, aren’t we? If skin color or slitty eyes are tooo irritable to see, would you please see them as a human – like you?
Race, skin, religion, caste are all social devices, to deferentiate people based on their geographic location or their religious background or their historical backgrounds – therefore we are able to communicate and to serve them better *if you were a merchant, this knowledge would help you to obtain good profit, wouldn’t it?*