KOPI DARAT dan anjing

*kopi darat means off line meeting or off line gathering or in person meeting. this terms refer to online community, which try to strengthen (or extent?) their social bond by meeting their online friends in “real” world (oh my, what does real world mean anyway???)

last night was my first kopi darat with my Loenpia.Net friends, a blogger community from Semarang (mmhh blogger? *think and check* i am not pretty sure. i would say “online” rather than bloggers. also, “from Semarang”? consider myself as is not from Semarang – i would rather say “in Semarang”). that was my first kopi darat since I’ve owned a blog since almost a year ago (should i say “i am a blogger” or “i have a blog” or “i write a blog” – if you know what i mean).

like when they are online, they were sooo funny and friendly and warmth (believe me, Loenpia.Net is always my sanctuary, as Rheingold said in his book “we know the healing effect of community in terms of individual lives“, then I cannot agree more with him in this case). my first impression had been “they are another Indonesian online community”, which was totally wrong. i would say instead: they are true online community.

someone there told me a story about someone and something *no, I am not going to tell you! hahahaha*, then i realized they have division or border between their online and offline sphere – at least the way they practice chuckles and jokes. who i am to judge since i am not an active member, but i always believe, i should be more careful writing something using online media (or sms, or letter), where written languages speak multi voices and meanings. *if i said “anjing” to you, what would you feel or think? what if it was “ANJING” or “ANJINGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” or “anjing” or “ANJING” or “ANJINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!“*.

how ever, i also believe how hard it is to control our anger and emotion. also sometimes it is hard for some of us to see how different it is living cyberspace and living real world – and then mix them up, and carelessly carry our angry and emotion beyond the border between online-offline sphere *i saw more then once*

i give my salutation for them who are highly aware of their cross-over life. i do.
and i believe, (good)friends remain (good)friends. Cyber or not cyber doesn’t count. *grin*

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my random thoughts:
* i thank you: Pak Dwi and Mbak Iin and all friends I met last night and all friends i’ve met online almost everyday
** still hope for my second chance to come true
*** miss you!

Home Sweet Home

most people will say the words.
i am home now.
but i feel like i come in somebody else’s home.
it is so cold and so empty.
home should be the last place you run to find your sanctuary.
yet i feel i am leaving my sanctuary far away there.
i am home, wishpering hope i am gonna home soon.

why worry

Baby I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say
But baby I’ll wipe away those bitter tears
I’ll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey
Why worry, there should be laughter after the pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now
Baby when I get down I turn to you
And you make sense of what I do
I know it isn’t hard to say
But baby just when this world seems mean and cold
Our love comes shining red and gold
And all the rest is by the way
Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunsh ine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now

FROTHBUNGLING

Yes. I am.
How am I not?
We are in a distance but so close.
It was so comfortable. It was so nice. It was so warm.

There is no distance as long as
We’d thought of each other all the time.
We’d kept smiling reminding each other always.
We’d kept the warm feeling in our heart every minutes.
We’d kept the remembrance of our time together every second.
We’d kept our promises so tight.

Now, when that words has been spoken out
“I don’t think we can see each other anymore”
we are now distanced, and there is a different
*what i mean here is, distance is still our issue*
It is so painful. It is so hurtful. It is so cold.

Yes. I am.
I am forthbungling.

THE ART OF LOOSING

That will be a time
When you expect something good will happen to you
Yet you do something stupid
And you lose all your hope and wish
Not even within one day

You call me a loser
Say I’m just a user
But I’ll just keep on moving
Cause that’s the art of losing

I am sad. Yes, I am.
Do I regret? I don’t know.
I am sad. Yes, I am.
I wish I could turn back the time.
Sounds that I regret.
I don’t care.

I miss you.

HOLOPHONICS

It was maybe almost two years ago, a friend of mine gave several holophonics files. Invented by Hugo Zuccarelli in 1980s, holophonics is the aural equivalent of visual holography. This technology use no processing nor special effect. It is simply recorded (voice) signal, which being sent to our brain and stimulates (or halusinates?) it to interpret voices based on the directions (amplitude?). I think the binaural recording produces illusions, supported by spatial dimension, ambience and emotion, that cause our brain tells our sense to interpret the voice as accurate and real. To get the maximum effect, we need a good quality headphone or earphone (I prefer headphone, it is healthier. I use Sennheiser PX 100 and it is pretty good). Put it on and close the eyes. It helps brain to be stimulated (or halusinated) better Amazingly, I get some holophonics files from John P, whose specialization is for Insect!

My favourites are Blowdryer, Lady’s Voice and Cereni. Gita’s favorite is the virtual barbershop. She heard that many times, yet always said: “I can feel the scissor around me!” hahaha. They are fun scary. You can also download holophonics voices from MP3RAID. Use keyword: holophonics. Enjoy!

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Even in this initial stage, I don’t want to lose you only because I did something stupid. I am waiting us to grow!

O-V-E-R-F-L-O-W-I-N-G

means 189
189 women in my sample frame
means the 23 November
time to go home without a nanny
means the 15 November
never-ending cooking and washing
means 73
where to go
means 20
feel dont like to go
means used glass
i got caught!
means 7
person i feel like to fall in love with, vanished too soon
means 5 islands
my field work
means 2081
room where i am working now

Gita Cupcakes

Gita’s birthday should be on this Sunday. She wanted to bring something into the class, to share. On her teacher’s request, I and Gita decided to share cupcakes – to avoid crumpy effect on children in the class.

Afer my supervision time, I rushed collecting Gita from school and bought things for cupcakes. Last night I and Gita baked 30 something decorated cupcakes to bring this morning. Each of them has edible sicker and four star candies. Not to bad.

*Don’t ask about the recipe*

Today’s supervision: SO SO

We worked to revise my ethics clearance. I need to get it done as soon as possible.
Then we talked something about my-pain-in-the-ass-methodology, which, potentially can be a good short journal.
*flat yeepee. flat woohoo*
I still have pile of papers to read. Eh, I am surprised for my reading attitude is now getting wayyy better!
That’s why I need pair of glasses.
So, I have Malhotra, Batlikawa, and LaRose to read. I do hope they enjoy my good company.
Please remind me to write application for my homeleave, review, milestone, and questions for interview. Don’t forget to do that monkey too.
Tied up by all the preparation. No. No. No.
I would say: Tied up by live.
*GRIN*

By the way, Gita’s birthday will be on the weekend, on Sunday. What should I make?
*think. think. think. think. think*
Cupcake – as her teacher’s request. What kind of cupcake?
*think. think. think. think. think*
Soft vanila cupcake – maybe? What should I buy?
*think. think. think. think. think*
Egg. Flour. Sugar. Sprinkle. Sugar decoration. Where to buy?
*think. think. think. think. think*

I should thank René Descartes for making me REALLY exist!

Life is Beautiful: Schopenhauer :)

Roberto: Heru! Heru!
Heru: What is it? What are you doing?
Roberto: Were you sleeping?
Heru: Of course I was.
Roberto: You asked me a question, a minute to go you turned your head and right away you’re sleeping. How did you do that?
Heru: Schopenhauer.
Roberto: Who?
Heru: Schopenhauer says that with willpower, you can do anything. “I am what I want to be.” Right now I want to be someone who is sleeping, so I said over and over “go to sleep, go to sleep” and you know what? It worked.
Roberto: Amazing, it’s so simple. I’ll try. “Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep”
Heru: Don’t move your hands. You’re not some kind of a juggler. Take a concentration. It’s serious, plus it takes time. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.
Roberto: Tomorrow. Ok. “You will wake up. You will wake up. Wake up. Wake up. You will wake up. Wake up”
Heru: What you think you are doing?
Roberto: Ooops! Exceptional power!
Heru: What did you say?
Roberto: Schopenhauer. I proof this theory. You were just sleeping and I said to you “wake up”! And Bam! You woke up! I mean, this is incredible, this theory. How does this thing work?
Heru: Obviously, the more you yelled in my ear, the more likely I had to wake up!
Roberto: Oh, you mean I should yell it quieter?
Heru: You should not be yelling at me at all
Robeto: Oh. I am sorry. All right.
Heru: It’s not to be spoken. Just thinking
Roberto: Ah. Ok.

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